Change

I like and I don't like change, if that makes any sense.

I like it because it gives me hope, life is not stale, stagnant, there is something new and exciting on the horizon. But . . . the 'something new and exciting' also causes anxiety and is part of the reason why I don't like change. I listen to the Lord's nudgings, I act, but then I end up with this feeling of uncertainty when I am in the middle of the change. You know the place where you have let go of the old thing, but have not yet seen the new thing? That place is scary for me. Yet, that is the place God calls us to again and again. That is right where he wants us. That is so God. He asks us to take steps, make changes and let go before he unvails the new (I remember the character "Much Afraid" in Hannah Hurnard's allegorical story, Hinds Feet on High Places).

So I am in that place now. Chris and I are in that place. We are slowly letting go of Colorado Springs and the things here - we will end our time with The Gathering youth this June, we sold Chris' jeep yesterday, we put our house on the market last week, and so on. God has called us to somewhere else, to do something else. We know the place - Vermont, but not the thing. This change is exciting because we both love Vermont and see the potential for loving on people there, but is is also hard to not know what we are moving to. I suspect that as we continue to let go here, things will become clearer about there. I hope. In the meantime, it is hard to be in-between.